But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
