jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
