she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
