Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
