I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
