how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
