I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
