Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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