i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
