we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
