i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
