Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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