is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
