life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
