Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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