she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
