He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
