No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
