Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
