Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
