I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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