I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize