Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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