I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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