How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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