I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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