just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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