i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
50% drunk capacity currently
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
