This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
