he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
