I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
