You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
