Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you didnt know i had herpes?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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