dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
