Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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