either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
