I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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