Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize