Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize