I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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