i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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