I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
