so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
