Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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