now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
