I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
