TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
