I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Im part way to drunk.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize