so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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