You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize