Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
