what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
