if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
