guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
