nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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