They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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