Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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