put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
