to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
