that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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