So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
