"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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