I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
