I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
