quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
