So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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